Hope

This season of my life is quite different from the original purpose of this blog. I'm no longer the mom of pipsqueaks. They have either flown the coop or are on the brink of it. They've officially lost their pipsqueak status.

The things I think about are not so homeschoolcentric. But hope transcends time in a way that many things cannot.

I hoped my kids would build their lives on a solid foundation that would serve them well. I still hope for that. I hoped that they would become people capable of contributing meaningful things to the world around them. I still hope for that. I hoped that we would build relationships that would last and be full of love. I still hope for that.

I'm reading Biola University's Advent calendar again this year. It continues to be excellent in form and in content. I recommend it. This first week is about hope. Where does hope come from? Is it just a desire for better things, a longing for the world to be set right, or is it deeper and founded on something more substantial?

I'm not so sure that the answers to those questions can be found in anything we can conceive on our own, or even in the human capacity for goodness. Our own attempts to explain what we experience tend to be inadequate. At our best, we're all a little broken.

The Caged Skylark
By Gerard Manley Hopkins

As a dare-gale skylark scanted in a dull cage,
          Man's mounting spirit in his bone-house, mean house, dwells —
            That bird beyond the remembering his free fells;
This in drudgery, day-labouring-out life's age.
Though aloft on turf or perch or poor low stage
            Both sing sometímes the sweetest, sweetest spells,
            Yet both droop deadly sómetimes in their cells
Or wring their barriers in bursts of fear or rage.

Not that the sweet-fowl, song-fowl, needs no rest —
Why, hear him, hear him babble & drop down to his nest,
           But his own nest, wild nest, no prison.

Man's spirit will be flesh-bound, when found at best,
But uncumberèd: meadow-down is not distressed
            For a rainbow footing it nor he for his bónes rísen.

In a nutshell, this. If we place our hope in ourselves, we're bound to be deeply disappointed. We need something that transcends time. Or someone. Thus the reason for this first week of Advent. Hope has a name: Jesus.

What is It Really About?

We do this when we open our presents...

...as a reminder that Christmas is not all about this.

It's easy to get caught up in the getting. Especially when you are a child and the whole house changes. The tree is so front and center. All the packages under it are so front and center. But there is another deeper reason we celebrate Christmas.

Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city. Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth.And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.
But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."     ~Luke 2

We're on to Something Here!

Here's a thought: What if quality time is different than what we have made it to be? Our society trends toward bigger and better. If it's more than two days old, it's past tense. Archaic. We believe that to hold attention, to be amazing and wonderful, it has to out do anything we have previously encountered. All that is new becomes old and stale within months. To solve the ennui, we update to bigger and better.
For the first birthday party, we have cupcakes and streamers, complete with a theme and beautiful decorations. By the time our children are ten we're taking them and a few dozen friends to Disney World all expenses paid. And we wonder why we have such trouble with boredom and entitlement...

ATTENTION! That was Charlotte Mason's name for mindfulness. The ability to be present fully in the now, and it mattered little where she found herself. For her it was just as important to give full attention to the little people as to the big.

Dr. Gary Chapman lists Quality Time as one of The Five Love Languages. Attention must surely be one aspect of quality time. If we care enough to give them our full attention, what is that saying to them? What are we saying when we don't? We live in the world of a million and one distractions. Heaven forbid that our loved ones should get the message that they are less than important to us. Heaven forbid that our children feel the need to do something spectacular to earn our attention or our love.

Somewhere along the line, we've forgotten the rhythm of the mundane, the simple. Attentive quality time has gone the route of the front porch swing. In our rush toward all things new and exciting, I hope we haven't lost more than we've gained.

Northshore 2011

This year, the trip was glorious. There is no other way to describe it. I want to remember every second of it. Even the not so great moments, because this trip changed me. I'm still trying to figure out how, but I know it did.

As we pulled into Gooseberry Falls, an ambulance flew past, and out of habit I hoped that the person for whom it was headed would receive the help they needed. The scenery soon proved a distraction from anything outside the moment. I was glad to be alive and outside enjoying it.

The weather was absolutely perfect, one of those sparkling fall days when you can almost feel the crispness of the blue sky. We were all thrilled to be escaping from the drudgery of laundry, meals, cleaning and all those little mundane things that make up a life. The whole weekend stretched ahead, begging to be spent relaxing with good friends.

For two hours, we thoroughly explored the area from the falls to the shoreline. My camera worked hard, but my eyes and ears worked harder! I could almost feel my soul exhale. Our chatter must have sounded rather like a group of magpies, nattering on about this and that. We chased fish, and then we chased waves. Chatter. Chatter. We talked about lunch and realized it was mid afternoon already. As we loaded ourselves back into the vehicle, we snacked on trail mix and laughed about our "near death" experience with a chipmunk.

Immediately after we pulled out of the entrance and headed up the highway, a man by a white truck motioned us to slow down. By the time we figured out why he was cautioning us, the traffic behind looked like this. Only then did we remember the ambulance.

In front of us, it was much the same. As we crept along, a police car escorted a van along the wrong side of the yellow line. Traffic was stopped in the opposite direction as well. When we reached the site of the accident, it was clear there had been at least one fatality. I've never seen anything like it and hope to never repeat the experience.

The tone of the weekend instantly changed. In an instant, it wasn't about getting away; it was about getting deeper. We were suddenly more deliberate. Everyone who passed that site was given a chance to really think about life. To take the time to assess what is important and what is not.

And I will once again choose to trust that what makes no sense to me makes sense to Someone who is both loving and just. And I choose to trust that He is at work in this situation as He has been in so many other senseless places, because I know that good has already triumphed over evil. And someday, we will see the end of the movie.

Homeschooling in Ten Easy Questions

I read Jimmie's Collage. Her blog is full of ideas for homeschoolers, and she also authors The Notebooking Fairy. Great resource! She invited her readers to post and answer the questions for this meme, so I decided to play along. And I'm going to follow her example and let anyone respond.

The Eight Original Homeschooling Questions

1.  One homeschooling book you have enjoyed.

It's impossible to choose just one! Our shelves are full of "living books." We love most of them, but one thing we agree on is the fact that textbooks are usually not that exciting.

2.  One resource you wouldn’t be without.

Art supplies of all kinds. And this is one area I try not to skimp on. I want them to love art, and that probably won't happen with inferior paint that is watery or clumpy, and pencils that don't make brilliant colors. Crayola markers are great, and we like their tempera paint. But for watercolor and acrylic paints we buy more expensive tube paint. (Good brushes are essential.) And water soluble colored pencils are fascinating for them. They also use real sketch pencils and good erasers.

3.  One resource you wish you had never bought.

I wish I had never bought Spelling Power. It works for lots of people, but it didn't work for us. It was a guaranteed tense time for the Straight-haired girl, and the Curly-headed girl preferred to avoid it altogether. I was trying to save money (it has lists for grades 1 through 12) but we just didn't enjoy it. We are doing Charlotte Mason style spelling this year with copywork and dictation. The girls enjoy it much better and are beginning to self-edit their writing!

4.  One resource you enjoyed last year.

We have come to love the Scripture Memory System described in Simply Charlotte Mason. It's useful for far more than Scripture memorization, too. Bonus: it's inexpensive to set up and the kids are thrilled when they hear someone refer to something they have already memorized.

We also loved A Reason For Handwriting.

5.  One resource you will be using next year.

I hope to try out the Art of Argument from Classical Academic Press. We love their Latin for Children series and I have high hopes.

6.  One resource you would like to buy.

A Pro-Click binder and a laminator. I dream of the day! I may have to laminate the furniture and the walls while I'm at it.

7.  One resource you wish existed.

A great gradebook that doesn't take up much memory on the computer and is customizable. I found it today! Here. I love it already and can't imagine how it's free, but this website is chock-full of great things in which to nose around. I already use her assignment chart, and this gradebook must be fairly new - because I didn't know it existed until today. Happy day!

8.  One (really, one?) homeschool catalog you enjoy reading.

Sonlight. Veritas Press. Cheap Joe's art supplies catalog has drool stains on several pages. Rainbow Resource Center is a great catalog, as well. If you can't find it there, chances are they don't make it...

Two Add-on Homeschool Questions

From Jimmie's blog: This meme is called Homeschooling in Ten Easy Questions, but...had only eight questions. To fix the discrepancy without renaming the meme, I’ve chosen to create two of my own questions. Sorry to end on a negative note, but the struggles are where we learn the most, so I don’t want to discount them. [Totally agree with this, by the way.]

9. What homeschool subject gives you the most frustration or anxiety?

Social skills. Just kidding. Probably Math. I don't have the energy to make it fun and exciting, because it's not something that I think is fun and exciting. But I don't want to pass that attitude on to the girls, so I get stressed about it sometimes.

10. What is your greatest challenge in homeschooling right now?

Making it work for two widely different personalities. I probably overthink this sometimes, but right now this is my biggest challenge.

Now it’s your turn! Go ahead. Copy the questions and do the homeschooling in 10 easy questions meme. It’s fun.

Ten Years Ago

I woke up to find the world had shifted. We had a one year old and I was wondering what in the world we had brought her into. So, I hugged her a little closer that day; paid more attention to her. And I remember waking  up Mr. Dad just to talk to him, just to know he was there. He wasn't very happy with me, because he had gotten home from Nashville at 2:00 in the morning after a rough flight.

I distinctly remember making macaroni and cheese for lunch while Don Wade and Roma were on the radio.  And watching in disbelief as the events of the day unfolded. I remember running down the list of family and friends to be sure no one was in the path of danger. And sighing in relief to realize they were safe.

But not everyone can say that. By a long shot. And so we remember. We will always remember. And we will adjust to a new definition of "normal" as each generation before us has adjusted to catastrophe that shifted their view of the world they lived in. Ten years later, I can say it is the same kind of world today as it was on September 10th, 2001. Really, the only thing that changed was my perspective.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ~2 Cor. 4:18

Knight's Branch Creek

 

Why is it that we assume our lives will flow like rivers 

from one point to the next, rippling over the little rocks in the way? 

Moving along at a consistent pace.

 Sunrises followed by sunsets. Spring followed by summer... 

One small wrinkle at a time, we grow older.

Until suddenly - the road turns sharply.

When we do stop to anticipate the big changes in our lives,

the storms that come are seldom the ones that we dread so much.

And is our lack of ability to see the next curve in the road a blessing or a curse?

"Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should."

~ Psalm 90:12

Words to Ponder

This was too good to not pass on! Food for thought, as we go about our lives.

June 19

---

Now comes My hour of heart-break, and what can I say, 'Father, save Me from this hour'? No, it was for this very purpose that I came to this hour. (John 12:27 Phillips)

There is one all-comprehending, all-embracing, all-governing purpose to which God has committed Himself, by creation, by redemption, and by union. That purpose is the conformity of a race to the image of His Son. This is man’s chief end and chief good. What more satisfied and ‘happy’ person is there – even amidst suffering and sorrow – than he or she who is most perfect in patience, love, faith, and the other "fruits of the Spirit?" If our requests regarding things were granted, while we were left the same people, unchanged in disposition and nature, it would not be long before we should be in the same unhappy condition over other things. There is possible for us some inherent quality that wears out circumstances and reigns above them. Some of the most radiant people have been the greatest sufferers in infirmity, poverty, or other forms of adversity; whilst the most ‘privileged’ are often the most discontented.

The solution to the problem of suffering does not lie in being philosophical; it is not in fatalistic resignation – ‘This is my lot; I suppose I must accept it.’ It is not in passive or active suppression of desire. It is far removed from self-pity, bitterness, cynicism, or envy, and the rest of their wretched family of wilderness-makers and wanderers. We may have to let go the particular occasion of our trouble, and first recognize, and then embrace with our heart, the fact that in the affliction there resides the immense eternal potentiality of an increase of the image of God’s Son, which is to be the one and the only character and nature of the eternal kingdom. We have too much visualized the ‘Heaven’ that is to be, as geographical and pleasurable, without giving sufficient weight to the fact of a nature to be inculcated and perfected.

By T. Austin-Sparks from: One Universal Answer

Labels Are Only Useful When Doing Laundry

I was reading an article from Simply Charlotte Mason about labels and how they shape our children. It was very interesting, and will be the focus of some organized thought around here. She said,

"But it dawned on me that when I fixate on the label, I neglect to look at her as a whole person. And when I neglect to look at her as a whole person, my expectations for her are lacking. That is when I need to remember that what we expect from our children subconsciously shapes what they expect from themselves and who they become [emphasis added]."

It's a great article. The thing that most stuck out at me is this: I have been guilty of comparing my child(ren) to others in an attempt to understand her. I see things in others and think, "That's my child!" Perhaps what I should be doing is enjoying her as she figures out who it is that God created her to be.

Every Choice for One Thing is a Choice Against Something Else

There are lots of things to ponder when raising a child. Here is some more food for thought. The first one didn't eat McDonald's until the second one came along. She didn't watch a lot of telly either. I wish I'd done a few things differently when the Curly-headed girl was a wee sma' bairn.Thankfully, it's ne'er too late to start. I think I've been reading way to much Burns lately.

"Consider what a child misses during the 15, 000 hours (from birth to age seventeen) he spends in front of the TV screen. He is not working in the garage with his father, or in the garden with his mother. He is not doing homework, or reading, or collecting stamps. He is not cleaning his room, washing the supper dishes, or cutting the lawn. He is not listening to a discussion about community politics among his parents and their friends. He is not playing baseball or going fishing, or painting pictures. Exactly what does television offer that is so valuable it can replace these activities that transform an impulsive, self-absorbed child into a critically thinking adult?"
~ Paul Copperman

Growing Strong Trees

Biosphere 2 is an intriguing experiment. It was designed to see if humans could replicate conditions necessary to sustain life on other planets. Perhaps it is a great place to visit, but it was not a great place to live for extended periods of time. As a closed system, the experiment failed for a number of reasons; not least of which were labor/management disputes and lack of funding. The University of Arizona has taken it over for research purposes and it is now privately funded.

Photo credit: ppdigital from morguefile.com

Among Biosphere 2's problems was the maintenance of good air quality. Oxygen levels continued to drop during the experiment in part because the trees were not thriving. Eventually, oxygen had to be pumped into the structure to support life. Due to inadequate light levels and lack of wind, the trees were weak and unable to thrive. You see, for a tree to grow tall and strong, it must have wind pushing and pulling at it. Only then can it form the reaction wood necessary to support a larger structure as it grows. Without the reaction wood, the tree grows top heavy and the root system is unsuitable to support it. Down it falls.

So, at the same time I was reading about Biosphere 2 and learning about that experiment, I came across this:

Be strong in the Lord, relying on His mighty strength. (Ephesians 6:10 ISV)

The Lord does not put us in glass houses to grow us, to be His trees; the Lord does not protect us from the storms, the adversities; He exposes us to the bitter winds and the scorching suns of adversity and trial. The Lord is working in us that which is according to His own Nature – eternity, the enduring, the everlasting God – that which will not be easily or hardly carried away. He is putting substance in you. Oh, today we fear that the appeal to become Christians is so often in terms of having an easy or a good time; being happy and enjoying yourself; well, thank God for ALL divine joy, but this is true to the House, to the City, that the first thing the Lord is working toward and seeking to work into His people is that substantial, steadfast, enduring faithfulness that is according to His own nature. Substantial! Oh for substantial Christians that don’t need coddling and nursing and running after all the time; being pandered to to get them to go on or stand up. Men and women like cedars of Lebanon; like the hewn stones – weighty, accountable, and responsible to carry weight – and all that is meant by strength.

I can only remind you again of what a large place that has in the Word of God: be strong, be strong in the Lord in the strength of His might, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. Think again. Want to understand why the winds are allowed to blow so fiercely... the storms? To get us away from that natural, easy-going-ness or cheapness, lightness, frivolousness and to make us people of weight. Strength – through testing, through adversity – strength... to endure throughout all ages. There is much which is going to be carried away in the last great testing, and if, therefore, trial and adversity is the only way to deepen us, to put caliber into us, I suppose we must expect more of it as the time shortens.

By T. Austin-Sparks from: Aspects of the City

Who Shall Deliver Me?

God strengthen me to bear myself;
That heaviest weight of all to bear,
Inalienable weight of care.

All others are outside myself;
I lock my door and bar them out
The turmoil, tedium, gad-about.

I lock my door upon myself,
And bar them out; but who shall wall
Self from myself, most loathed of all?

If I could once lay down myself,
And start self-purged upon the race
That all must run ! Death runs apace.

If I could set aside myself,
And start with lightened heart upon
The road by all men overgone!

God harden me against myself,
This coward with pathetic voice
Who craves for case and rest and joys.

Mvself, arch-traitor to myself ;
My hollowest friend, my deadliest foe,
My clog whatever road I go.

Yet One there is can curb myself,
Can roll the strangling load from me
Break off the yoke and set me free. [1876]

~Christina Rossetti

" What a wretched man I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!...Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." ~Romans 7:24-25, 8:1-2

Brevity is the Soul of Wit

My mom is probably laughing her head off. She despaired of ever teaching me this, I'm sure. To this day, it continues to be something I work on.

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."
Proverbs 10:19

Doorposts is starting a new blog; and in celebration, they are giving away loads of free stuff. Go check it out, if you feel so inclined (I don't gain anything from your visit). The best tip I know for parenting is to immerse your family in God's word...like I'm really an expert...but I am in the trenches and have found this to be true, in parenting and marriage and friendship alike.There is much wisdom between the covers of that book.

What Cost: Education?

While I do not agree with everything Ken Robinson says, this is highly interesting. What do you think?

I've Been Thinking...

No snide comments from the peanut gallery, please!

For various reasons, I've been more aware of suffering lately. I know it's been going on all around me to varying degrees my whole life long; but somehow, lately it's been more evident.  We live in a world of hurt...and our smiling faces belie that fact.

I know it's not possible, or even wise, to share what's going on behind the smile with everyone. It's not even necessary. But I do know this: For healing to occur, we have to be willing to examine the pain. That's just not possible without the help of others. First and foremost, I have to take it to God and let Him show me where I need healing. I am so bound by my own self that I cannot be objective (assuming I want to, but that's another issue). I get too messy in my own head.

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily lifts our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death. ~Psalm 68:18

Dealing With What You've Been Dealt

I've come to realize that we all work out grief in different ways. This is how the curly-headed girl does it. She draws pictures with missing people doing activities right beside everyone else. She spends copious amounts of time mothering Baby Rachel. She talks. She asks questions. She won't let it hide under the rug.

I think she gets that from her father's side of the family; but it's a good thing, dealing with it honestly. I am learning that from her.

Watch Out! I've Been Thinking Again

This time it's about my resources: money, time and energy. How I choose to use them affects more than just the here and now. If I'm too tired to spend time with the daddy or the kids, our relationships are affected. If I spend my money on x, I don't have money for y or z.

This seems fairly obvious, but in the rush of everyday life, how many times do I stop to think before purchasing the small things I "need" in order to analyze my spending habits. And, how do my purchases fit in with my "purpose" in life? How many times do I stop to figure out what I am saying no to when I agree to do something good or worthwhile with my time? That worthwhile project may not seem so great if it comes at the cost of something better.

Paul Tripp said, "You see, the character of a life is not set in two or three dramatic moments, but in 10,000 little moments. The character that was formed in those little moments is what shapes how you respond to the big moments of life."

I have a finite number of moments. I need to practice spending my resources wisely.

My Favorite Photo of My Brother Ever. Maybe.

 

I love this man. I knew him when he wore diapers. I dressed him up in doll clothes and stuck funny looking turbans on his head. I chased him around with rolled up newspapers and screamed at him when he got into my stuff. I did all sorts of terrible things to him, and he still talks to me. Amazing.

He was funny and smart (I still maintain he had no logic) and did crazy things to make people laugh. I could tell you stories!

But now, he's very far away. And he has children of his own. He is still hilarious. He is still smart (sadly, still lacking logic). He is still my little brother. And I miss him very much.

It must be PMS.

Edited: Sadly, since I've written this, I could write another post entirely. The Little Guy (in the middle) will have his first birthday next Sunday and he has RSV. RSV is almost as common as the common cold. If you are over the age of three, you have probably contracted it at least once, but Respiratory Syncytial Virus is much worse than a cold if you are younger than that. At his age, it can be life threatening. The Little Guy is in the intensive care unit at their local hospital. Please pray for him. And for his mommy and daddy. He is so very sick.

Idea Glut

Open letter to those with Perfect Blogs promoting Perfect Lives:

Dear Crafty Queen/Domestic Diva/Kitchen Guru,

It's great fun to troll the internet looking for your creative ideas and saving them for a rainy day. I like seeing what you are teaching your kids, and what you're cooking for dinner. But the danger is this: sometimes I get sucked into believing that your lives are more valid than mine.  Or more perfect. Or more meaningful... because you are posting the details (in super glossy edited photos) on the internet.

The problem with too much of that is: all that creativity sucks the creativity right out of me. Bah!

Then I have all of your ideas floating around in my head and I cause myself unneeded anxiety because I never get any of those super glossy edited photos incorporated into my life. It also keeps me from coming up with my own ideas; and I swear, it promotes brain rot. I have wasted enough brain cells in high school. No need to continue that trend!

What works for you might not work so well in my life. (Note to self: print in really large letters and slap note on bathroom mirror!)

I'm tired of trying to make my internet-trolling self happy. My kids are growing up way too fast, and I only get one go around with that. I'm finding more gray hairs each day; and if I want to fight excess baggage in the claims department, I've got to get on the treadmill.

So, please don't be offended if I unfollow you. It's nothing personal. I'll just catch up with you later.

Or not.

Fresh As New Fallen Snow

 

Here we are at the start of a new year, with the pages of the calendar staring at us freshly, like new fallen snow. No one knows what the year will bring. Thankfully, there is One who has already gone before us, laying down a set of sure-footed tracks to follow.